I have been striving to behave and dress more feminine in recent years. This is a big step for me, the chief of all tom-boys, and I’ve still got a long way to go. But it’s been a growing desire in my life as I’ve chosen to follow my Master more closely. Recently I decided to conduct my own “social experiment”.
A bit ago I read where someone said that she noticed that on days she wore dresses or skirts that people treated her differently – better. I thought about it and discussed the concept with my husband who was of the opinion, “Of course they will!” I had been wearing a dress or skirt several times a week already (not that I had a schedule or anything) and was relieved that I never really felt uncomfortable or out of place. Instead I had noticed that I felt different – a good different. I just felt more feminine and gentle. I hadn’t really noticed how others responded to me on those days because I was so preoccupied by how my choice of clothing made me feel so different.
So I opted to conduct my own experiment. I didn’t discuss it with my husband first because he was part of my test group. I wore a dress or a skirt every day for a week before I said anything to him about it. In that week I noticed two general responses from strangers in public. This was interesting to say the least! On day one of my experiment, there was a young lady working at a large store who was “supervising” the self-check out area. She was bored, you could tell. The store was full and as I was walking in her direction I noticed her dejected posture, the bored-to-tears look on her face and her inattention to the customers around her (who did not need her help at that moment). I chuckled because as she scanned the crowd her eyes fell on me and she completely changed – she stood up straight and proud, she grinned ear to ear and looked right at me and said “Hello, Ma’am”. I could not believe the transformation that took place right before my eyes. If she had seen her boyfriend walking toward her, I could understand her transformation – but me? I chuckled and returned her gentle and nice greeting. On the way out of the store a young man walking toward me took one look at me, began to walk quicker as his eyes averted my general direction (though we were walking directly toward one another) and his posture became more of a slump. What would cause such a drastic change just by looking at someone or something? It caused me to really sit up and take note of my social experiment! I wonder how much of it is just the dress/skirt and how much is that coupled with the headcovering.
I wore a dress or a skirt all week, even riding bikes with the kids into town (a 25 mile round trip event). I milked in my dress, did outside work in my skirt, did all of my errands in town in more feminine attire, drove Miryam to Driver’s Ed in a skirt, and I stayed home all day in a dress. My test subjects varried day to day. 
The animals didn’t seem to notice at all.
Part way through the experiment I mentioned something to Miryam. She was in the early part of her Driver’s Ed course which she had to attend every evening for just over a month. One day she wore the dress she had made for her birthday. On the way home DH asked her if she noticed anything different about the class (I hadn’t told him of my experiment yet, I’m intrigued that he even had this conversation with her!). She said that she did, in fact, notice a difference. She was the first one to wear a dress or skirt of any kind. Most of the girls would wear skimpy tops with short-shorts. She never dressed like they did anyway, but she did wear pants or shorts. That evening she noticed that two of the boys in her class held the door open for her as she came in and went out. The boys sitting near her didn’t swear as much as they had on previous nights and the girls were different too – some were pleased to glare harder while the majority of them seemed more at ease in talking with her. Even the teacher wasn’t as coarse as he had been in his stories. So Miryam decided to wear a dress or skirt at least 3 nights a week and see how the group responded. In less than two weeks, other girls started dressing more modestly and some more feminine – nto all, but some. The boys (again, some but not all) made it a point to be more gentle around Miryam and simply be nice to her, not trying to show off or be stupid. She was pleased with her observations – and then I told her about my own experiment.
On the final day of my experiment when described the reactions I noticed to my dear husband, he got a good chuckle out of it and pondered with me about what would cause such varried responses. The responses on the first day were very typical throughout the week. But I also noticed responses from women who had been hurt by “those dress wearing women”. There are some very hurt women out there who have been shunned by friends and family because they dress modestly, but choose to wear pants. I couldn’t believe just how many! I’m grateful that those conversations came up as it helped me in assessing my “test subjects” throughout the week. Our final assessment was that my observations were strikingly similar to the observations that I had read one lady write about – peole DO resopnd differently to a woman in a dress or a skirt. Men hold the doors, people in general smile toward me more, children especially seem to respond differently – more relaxed and happy (that was the strangest observation I made of all!).
So the day after my experiment was over, I walked into my closet to get dressed for the day. I simply couldn’t bring myself to put on a pair of jeans! Now those who know me in real life will understand what kind of a major event this is in my life!! It just didn’t feel right, it was like wearing two left shoes. So I chuckled and thought to myself, “Well, now that DH knows about my experiment I’ll do it one more week and get his observations of our “test subjects” too.”
So here we are – a month later. I’m not sure if I’m going to do another experiment and wear pants here and there or not. I’d be curious to see what responses I get from others if I went back to pants for a whole week, but it might be too soon for that. And now, if I did that, those who know me “in real life” wouldn’t be part of the test subjects, now that you’ve read this.
I agree totally. The same happens to me.
My daughter wears dresses and skirts most of the time. She has long hair and dresses rather feminine in a modest way. Everyone treats her like a young lady. The other 13 year old girls we see, honestly, dress like a “harlot” or a boy. They are then are treated accordingly.
If you don’t want your daughter treated like a harlot don’t let her look like one! If you don’t want your daughter treated like one of the boys (jokes, language, familiarity , etc.) don’t let her look like one.
The Scriptures say that women should not wear men’s clothing. This has been in my mind a lot lately, precisely related to the points you bring up. Ie; how does it change our view of ourself, others view of us, and practical things?
Thank you for your sincere yet lighthearted perspective!
I began this entry several days ago but wasn’t able to finish it till today at the library. After I wrote my entry, picked up my books and was heading out the door I was met at the door by a gentleman who was also heading out. At the same time a woman was on her way in. I, in my khaki skirt and knit top and she in her super short-shorts, short and tight black tank top (if you could call it that) and big dark sunglasses. The poor man glanced at me, at her, and then at me again all with no real expression on his face but he did move quick. He held the door for me and gave me a polite smile while trying hard not to look at the other woman who opted to get her own door. I, of course, politely thanked him and smiled thinking, “Oh boy, if you only knew what I was just writing about!”
How awkward it is for my men when they encounter a scantily clad woman!! How pleased they are when there is at least someone near by that they can safely “look toward” without, as DH puts it, “feeling like I need to poke my minds eye out!”.
It’s funny how it’s the women who seem to have the hardest time with my attire.
I just found your blog last week, am enjoying it, and put you on my bloglist. I can’t agree more with you. I too started covering and turned to only long dresses this Spring. My experiances have almost been identical. It’s a beautiful thing.
Although I get the occational snicker and brash comment from other women who probably see me as an “oppressed throwback to the dark ages”. I just giggle in my spirit and smile an honest smile, because HE has brought me to a solid place of faith and conviction. I try to see them through His eyes of love (I was little different at one time!!!) and pray that a seed (or even a thorn) is planted.
http://www.HomeShalom.blogspot.com
We must be all thinking on a similar vein lately- no doubt helped by the attaire of summer most of the world finds pleasing to the eye. I am hessitant to ask my husband to go to the store for me in summer because women will shop in super-short shorts and a bikini top!
We discussed about a month ago the way people acted toward me since I started to wear dresses and cover my head about a year ago. I told him the greeter at Wal-Mart always gave me a little bow, and he laughed, but the next time we went he saw for himself- on the way in and on the way out (two different men). I wondered out loud if it was part of their training! “If anybody looks ‘religious’, bow.” Other men also give me the nod.
I totally agree with what you said. I do on occasion wear dresses out running errands and for the day. I have been received well, generally, and like you noticed, with more respect and courtesy. I rather enjoy it! I also find that I feel better about myself.
I have also been on the other end, where dressed in pants have been shunned by those in dresses.
I am still shocked by what passes for acceptable clothing (sometimes even in the realm of the church) and as a mother of two teen young men, glad that they recognize it as unacceptable. They often have to avert their eyes, then just ask me “Why??”
My son’s noticed immediately when they saw you the first time in a dress! It is a pleasant thing! I think that children respond better too, because it is a more motherly attire. Hopefully, I too will set a better example for my own daughters
Hi Lisa
I’ve been so happy to find that there are LOTS of ladies who have discovered the exciting difference when wearing what is definitely female clothing! It is an amazing discovery in so many ways! I believe it is a discovery that the Father longs for His daughters to find.
I love wearing the dresses and skirts and looking female, and thereby no one has to wonder or question if I’m a female or not.
I’m so excited about your experiments and what you noticed. Very similar things happened to me when I started wearing dresses and skirts. It still happens too, after 8 years since I made the commitment. It seems to me that men can’t help but respect a woman for dressing modestly and clearly feminine.
Thanks for sharing your experiments!
one more thought…
I must commend you for your tender-hearted-ness for listening to the Holy Spirit regarding your desire to dress more femininely. Though I’ve been committed to wearing skirts and dressed for several years, it was not until my late 40’s that the Father finally got thru to me on this issue. My story of how this began with me sounds like the Father had to use a baseball bat to get my attention, rather than the soft whisperings of the Holy Spirit that you seemed to experience. I admire your sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Oh Debbie, you think way too highly of me!!
Sue, I think the shunning (or other negative experiences) we’ve had with those in our community are because we’re in such a religious community. I really like where we live and I like most of the people, but there is a very harsh “spirit” that lives around here and anyone remotely different from ones self is considered, well, poorly. It’s too bad, really, because our community isn’t the small tight-knit community it once was. I’m constantly amazed by things here. Someone posted a comment recently to another entry stating that there just isn’t the kind of “narrowness” in her area (Seattle) as we experience up here. Somedays I think I’d rather have Seattle (but only for a millisecond).
Mother of Many and Mommy Set Free,
It’s encouraging to think that the Ruach would be speaking the same things to many of us, even though we don’t live close or have “face to face” communication. And, MommySetFree – it’s nice to “meet” you. 
I am continually amazed at the simple fact that whenever I think I’m on to something new, others in my “circle” speak up and say, “Hey, me too!”
I have been wearing dresses/skirts for many years. Both my girls also wear dresses, although, 12y/o does have some split skirts for outdoor play. I started because of the femininity factor. But I’ve also realized how much more modest it is, even loose fitting pants and shorts. I can’t even imagine anyone but my husband seeing above my knee these days–lol!
Skirts are also cooler in the summer and almost as warm in the winter, sometimes I wear leggings or tights when it’s bitter cold. I do almost every chore in skirts, and even roller skate in a skirt. I haven’t had a pair of pants on in years and when I have I have felt so weird that I go change immediately.
I have had the door held for me by tattoo wearing long haired men, young men, and anything in between.
I agree, skirts are much cooler in the summer. And in the winter I’m known to wear long-johns under my skirt/dress. In this way I find the skirt to also be warmer in winter.
My mom sent me this after she read this entry and I wanted to share it.
The following is from What in the World Should I Wear? By Mrs. Cathy Curie:
A friend of mine told me that her decision to restrict her wardrobe to dresses and skirts came as a result of a ladies’ class. All the arguments and reasons that could be given were unheeded until the lady who was speaking said, “let me just demonstrate something to you.” She asked the ladies in the audience to close their eyes momentarily. She held up a large picture of a woman in an attractive, [modest] feminine skirt and blouse. She asked the ladies to open their eyes. Then she inquired, “What is the primary focal point to this picture? Where did your eyes first fall naturally?” The audience agreed that their eyes were first drawn to the face of the woman in the picture.
She once again asked the ladies to close their eyes. When they opened their eyes they were looking at a large poster of a woman in a sport shirt and blue jeans. She asked, “Now, be honest with yourselves, and tell me where your eyes first fell naturally when you looked at this picture?” Many of the ladies in the crowd were surprised to find that most people’s eyes first focused upon the hips and crotch area that were so vividly emphasized before they ever noticed the woman’s face.
If this happened in a crowd of ladies, how much more would it be true of men?
http://www.baptistpillar.com
WOW!
Well, a leopard can change her spots LOL…I’m so glad that life is so well for you and your family. I pray that it continues till we get to Heaven!
HI Lisa & “mommysetfree” (nice to “see” you over here at Ancient Paths)-
Lisa-this post is great! What an experiment. I laughed several times. It does not surprise me in the least. I have not converted to complete dresses and skirts yet, but my closet is gradually being transitioned. I do the long johns under the skirts too.
I feel really different (a good different) too when I’m in dresses/skirts. My 8 yod has been wearing dresses for about one year (b/c of her insistence…Our Heavenly Father is so lovingly proding her along…) There are times actually when she’ll say, “Mommy, aren’t you going to wear a dress today?” Then I remember another time a few months ago, I came out of my bedroom with a long flowing skirt on and my 3 yos looked up at me and his eyes lit up and he said “Mommy you look so pretty in your dress!” That was so sweet and wonderful. It was just his honesty! It’s amazing to me how our Father uses my children to gently prod me along.
Shalom,
I recently started wearing only long dresses and skirts and I have noticed a few things.
I wish someone had told me how different and special it makes you feel..”like a natural woman”
Secondly, how much I notice that many of my sisters really need to upgrade their standard of dress..permanently.
Also, everyone treats you differently and you behave differently too!!! I have observed that my approach to life is calmer, less emotional.
All in all, my personal worries about being able to dress like this daily were unfounded. I thank Yahowah for giving me the knowledge that I have today.
Todah Rebah YAHOWAH!!
Isn’t it amazing how different we feel when we dress in a more feminine way? I still have a hard time believing it myself.
We, too, have found that the Father uses our children to bring us along farther down “the way”.
And I agree with you, Israelite Princess, that when I began to dress more feminine and modestly that I couldn’t leave the house without having the standards of other women magnified in my sight. Sure I had seen it before, but not like this. How many of them feel so lost, so worthless, so hopeless, so “hard” now and and yet would feel so different if they just embraced femininity and modesty?
Blessings to you both ~
Lisa
I love this idea Lisa, you are amazing, and yes, a leopard can change it’s spots B! LOL
One question, I have considered this, because I am more comfortable in a skirt or dress, and they fit much better. I cannot wear a skirt or dress to work, OSHA regulations, or so they say. Anyway, what type of footwear do you wear with your dress or skirt? I have to be really careful since I broke my ankle years ago. May seem like a silly question, but I’m still vain enough to want to look “nice”. Does this make sense?
Shalom Lisa,
I’ve just discovered your site and have to share how happy and thankful I am to learn that I am not the only one who has been feeling the pull toward skirts and other heart-led acts of obedience to our amazing God and Messiah.
I can identify with your experience of feeling led by the Ruach, only to run in the other direction!
Over the passed year and a half, I feel He’s been really working on the symbolism–His symbolism, that He commands to set us apart.
For me, this began with and included wearing the tzit-tziyot and most recently wearing only 100%, non mixed thread clothing. I ran from these promptings of His Ruach, until asking and promptly receiving clear communication of His desire for His children. The blessings I’ve received, and the amazing peace and protection I feel while conforming to His design is indescribable-as I’m sure you can imagine.
Although I currently cover my head while praying, and can appreciate yours and others desire to cover fulltime, my husband is not a fan of fulltime covering due to his Muslim background.
Thank you for your site! Very helpful and encouraging for those of us on this narrow path! And, I identify your findings regarding wearing the skirts–people definitely have treated me more respectfully and I have truly felt more feminine and gentle in spirit. Amen.
Shalom Aleichem,
Anna
p.s. In case anyone is interested in tzit-tzit for women, I found this site helpful:
http://www.tzitzitforwomen.com/tzitzitforwomen.php
Sherry ~ Footwear has been a source of frustration for me. Still, I only have two pairs of shoes. I have a pair of black “dress shoes” that don’t seem to go with anything at all and a pair of tennis shoes that are rather worn out. This summer I wore the sandals I bought last summer and couldn’t wear since I broke my foot last summer. When I have shopped for shoes, I can’t seem to find anything that I like. If I had a “shoe person” shop with me and help me find something that works with my attire, I’d feel much better.
Anna ~ Thank you for sharing your story, too. I think it’s rather intriguing that there seems to be such a pull in this specific area in recent months. Is there really, or am I just noticing it more? I don’t know. Either way, it’s nice to hear other’s are feeling the same thing and following through.
I have truly enjoyed this post, even if I am a little late in reading it. I just wanted to say that I have two little girls (5 & 4) that I have been putting in dresses since birth really. they did wear shorts/pants a good bit because of weather or something but then the clothes started getting skimpy to say the least. So, off to all the time dresses & my mom even made some since the store bought are way too short. I am not trying to teach them to show their undies. Well, this past spring & was convicted big time. Here I was putting my girls in dresses & I was in pants. (I too am a recovering tom-boy). So in May I bought a few skirts & have added to it. I even have 3 wool ones for the cold German winter & a pair of leggings to boot. I feel so much prettier & happier in a skirt or dress, it’s so neat how when we submit to our Father He just fills us with joy. I have left my house 4 times since May in a pair of pants & felt odd as well. Isn’t it great! Our Father is so merciful & patient in teaching us, wish I was too.
I didn’t experiment like you did but once we all went to the dr. Well, after hearing some guy try to belittle me for homeschooling two ladies commented on my girls wearing dresses. No, they weren’t talking to me either. One said how she can never get her daughter to wear one. (I’m thinking don’t buy the pants, you are the parent). So I told her that this is a way of life, we’ve been doing this since birth. They just looked at me in disbelief. Again, the Holy Spirit must move us or nothing good would come from us. I’ts funny how these 2 ladies felt threatened by me & 2 little girls because we were in dresses/skirts.
Anyway, thanks so much for letting my add my story. Have a wonderful day! April
I so enjoyed reading your post about your “social experiment”! Back in November I underwent a “2 weeks in a dress challenge” and God did a real working in my heart. He gave me clear conviction to dress modestly & feminine. I haven’t worn pants since and it’s been a wonderful thing. You can follow my journey at:
http://makingJesusmypearl.blogspot.com
Blessings.
Very good story and interesting. I am like you where wearing dresses is a definite challenge. Although my dh has told me on occasion he would love to see me in one everyday. That right there should be enough reason. Thanks for sharing your story.
Shalom Tricia~
It was sure an adjustment for me at first, but now I can’t imagine wearing pants. LOL It’s funny how the Father has changed my heart in that area.
May you be blessed ~
Lisa